My Summer of Clay was coming to a close...

During the very last concert of the AI2 tour, I was sitting in front of my computer, reading about the concert from cellcert reports and feeling very sad. At that point, no one really knew what Clay would be doing, except we knew about the Jerry Lewis telethon and I think we knew about the Miss America Pageant. We also knew that the CD would be released, but what about the 6 weeks between the end of the concert and the CD drop date?

I was so used to 'seeing' Clay almost every day, or at least I knew what he was up to, that the next 6 weeks loomed heavy on my mind. Also, I had never been in a fandom before. I never knew that there was anything like it. Here was a kid quite a bit younger than me and I was obsessing over him. Well, that's a strong word, but it was a very strange feeling.

One of the things I learned in this fandom and by being on the message boards was this:

I WAS NOT ALONE!

There were actually others who felt about Clay the same way that I did. Man, that took a load off my mind, I thought I was going crazy, or reverting to my childhood or something. But finding others who were like-minded was so much fun!

Oh, yeah....fun. Let's talk about fun for a minute. I never would have guessed that at my age, I would be having so much freaking FUN!!! I was meeting people, not only across America, but across the world. I was talking on the internet to people with whom I never would have connected with in real life. We were laughing together, swooning together, crying together, celebrating together. We were starting to meet in real life over lunches and coffee and concerts. We were traveling to cities we've never visited before to see the skinny singer from North Carolina. And we were bonding. It was great.

So, there I was, in front of my computer, listening to the cellcert by reading the message boards and I started to get a bit maudlin. I wrote this that night:


Why am I sitting here, crying?

Why am I sitting here crying? Is it just because it's the last concert? Is it because I am going to miss all the reports from all the fans?

With Clay, I feel as if I have made a really good friend, the kind you make in summer camp and you think you will always be the best of friends, but distance makes the memories fade and you end up seeing them maybe once or twice a year after summer camp is over.

That's how I am feeling right now. We have known where Clay was EVERY day this summer. We know what city he was in, we knew what he was doing most of the time, either sleeping, or interviews, or singing, or meet n greets, or traveling on the bus. We were with him every step of the way.

After tonight, summer camp will be over and I find that I don't want to say goodbye to my friend, Clay. I don't want to lose that daily contact that good friends share, you know, those little things that endear a person to you? Things like:

**we always knew what he would do when he got panties thrown at him; pick them up and make a joke.

**We always knew that he did the mic jerk off the mic stand during TITN

**we always knew he would do the tugs, clutches and yanks during Invisible.

**we always knew, during GBTUSA, he put the mike down and soaked up the audience love

**We always knew that he had a special place in his heart for special needs kids and would make sure that they got attention backstage

**We always knew that Clay loves his fans and he went out of his way to be nice to us and wave to us and give autographs and take pics

On an intellectual level, I am very glad that Clay will finally get to have his own place to live, take a break from some of the crazier moments he's experienced during this summer, and even though he will kick into high gear to promote his CD, at least he will be able to have some down time and take care of himself. And I am truly happy for him, I really am.

I guess it's me I'm sad for. I am trying to be positive and realize that Clay is going forward with his life and career and so must we. But I will miss my "Summer of Clay" (thanks, Suziebird)

It's kind of like summer camp, on the last day, where you and your friends sing 'Kum By Ya', and 'I'll Never Walk Alone' and you sit and cry over fading memories and lost friendships, and you know you'll keep in touch through the occasional letter and phone call, but it will never be the same.

I will really, really miss my good friend, Clay.