Friday, November 30, 2007

My Grown-up Birthday Wish for you, Clay

By Rockysmom............

Well, well, well Mr. Aiken. Today's your 29th birthday. I know that seems old to you, but trust me sweetie...I've got underwear older than that (I know,I know.... just a little too much info there *g*).

And once again we're blessed that you're celebrating it with us....those enthusiastic and creative females you've chosen to think of as your extended family. Hopefully sometime today you'll get a chance to blow out all those candles on a cake (free of mint, chocolate, and tree nuts, of course) and that the wish you make--and every other wish you hold in your heart--comes true.

This will be your last birthday as a "twenty-something". What changes this past decade years has wrought for're no longer the young, painfully skinny, slightly geeky boy who had only flown in a plane and left his home state of North Carolina once.

You've matured into a handsome, sophisticated young man who has traveled the world, for business, for pleasure, and as an advocate for children's causes. That is one thing that hasn't changed about you as you head towards the "Big 30".... your commitment to helping others and inclusion for all. As you yourself have said...."the wrapping may have changed, but the gift is still the same". So today I'd like to humbly offer you "My Grown-Up Birthday Wish" (with apologies to David Foster):

Do you remember me?
I saw you on TV
I wrote to you of schoolgirl fantasies

Well you're all grown-up now
Your looks have changed (and how!)
You're not a child but my heart still can dream

So here's my life-long grown-up birthday list
Not for myself, but for someone I love....

No more lives torn apart
That rumors never start
And time can heal your heart

That you can always count on friends
That right will always win
And you find a love that never ends

This is my grown-up birthday wish

As children we believe
the grandest sight to see
Is something lovely tagged "From You--To Me"

But as our wisdom grows
Those packages and bows
Take second place to what's held in our hearts and souls

No more dreams torn apart
That lies and hatred never start
And time has healed your heart

That you are always surrounded by your friends
That right will always win
And you realize ...our love for you will never end.....

This is my grown-up birthday wish

Happy Birthday Clay.....Always and Forever.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Clay Aiken's list of things to do before the Christmas Tour

By Rockysmom..........

Things to do before the CITH tour starts......

1) Right before the tour to my cra...I mean creative fans that my hard-drive has crashed and I've lost all of their touching, heart-warming stories about love, redemption, eggnog, donkey poop, and what-not. Since there won't be time for me start over, we'll just have to do the show without their participation this year. Whew. That was a close one.

2) Have Mary smack me upside the head if I ever come up with an idea like that one again.

3) Double check to make sure Jesse and Sean have bought all the kazoos within 500 miles of Michigan so there won't be any birthday serenades. At least not on those things.

4) Make sure Jerome knows not to accept any gifts of jewelry from my fans. Especially ones engraved with sayings in foreign languages. I have enough trouble with Espanyolee, I don't have time to learn anything else. Unless it's Malaysian, I'm mucho goodo with that one.

5) Make sure he also knows not to accept any jars of formaldehyde with pickled body parts inside. Just in case somebody finally got rid of that gallbladder that's been bothering them. Nuff said.

6) Tell Momma one.more.time. that we really don't have room for that pouffy ottoman on the tour bus. Durham will just have to lift his leg against something else.

7)Speaking of Momma, make sure she changes her email address so my fans can't complain to her that I've said "crotch" or "balls" or talked about bodily functions while singing to Baby Jesus. At least Quiana shouldn't be getting any "fat letters" this time around. Speaking of which, make sure there's plenty of Breyers Peach Ice Cream on the bus.

8) Make sure Angela has plenty of Midol since I'm too busy preparing for Spamalot to have time to learn her song this tour. Same goes for Quiana.

9) Make sure the next time I call a tour "yada yada yada Heartland" that I know where the Heartland is and actually perform some shows there instead of doing them all in New Jersey.

10) Try to remember that I am not an angel and stop trying to priiiinnng things

11) Remember that those ladies at the Clack House aren't angels either, so no wearing lowrider jeans, especially ones with rivets. Thank the Lord there are no Christmas songs that include whips and chains. At least I'm hoping there's not. If there are any I'm sure that bunch will find them. HAHA.

12) Dig out that dictionary of Eye-talian musical terms and look up the ones with dirty meanings.

13) Tell Jaymes to stop talking about back-flashes. And her hot flashes too for that matter. And tell her that I have no intention of sliding down her chimney in Santa Monica. She doesn't even have a fireplace-what's up with that?

14) Practice getting my butt back up on stage after I jump into the audience.

15) Practice my video-taking technique just in case that lady with the Radio Shack in her purse is in the front row again. Then I can borrow one of her cameras and my Clack won't skip around. She might smack me if it does.

16) Speaking of getting abused....make sure all of my body parts are accounted for at all times during any flights. Don't want to have to explain things to the FBI again. Or to Momma. Whichever is worse.

17) Shave the hair off several of my appendages so my fans will be too busy speculating about that to ask me any questions about the new CD during the Meet & Greet's.

18) Make sure I have a warm coat and scarf to wear so I can walk the line as often as possible to thank my fans and show them how much I love them.

Once again, thanks to all the Clackgatherers. Without them, this fandom would be the poorer.

Friday, November 09, 2007

For a Good Time, call 1-800-Clay-Aiken

I mean, seriously, where else could one find so much fun and entertainment? There are message Boards, concerts, TV appearances, speeches, charities, news groups, interviews, MySpace pages, montages, YouTube videos, Clack, the list is endless. One of my favorite saying is this: You can't get better entertainment for the price of the internet!

Let's start with TV. First there was American Idol where we got to see this young man, I mean really young man, every week, singing his heart out, flat ironing his hair, trying on different outfits, making commercials for the show, talking to the Jaded Journalist and Ryan Seacrest. Did I mention singing his heart out? Clay knew how to play the game, yet he did it so wonderfully and never lost sight of who he was that he endeared himself to us.

Then came the TV appearances, the morning shows, the afternoon talk shows, the late night shows, Clay cooked for us on Martha Stewart, he mugged for us on Saturday Night Live, he flirted with Tyra Banks and we crushed on him. He helped Oprah make a wildest dream come true, he turned the tables on Jimmy Kimmel and he made Diane Sawyer swoon.

Then he went on tour. And he never stopped. The AI Tour, the Jingle Ball tour, the Independent Tour, the Not-a-Tour, the Joyful Noise Tour (JNT), the Jukebox tour, the JNT05, the JNT06, the Soft Rock and a Hard Place tour, and soon to come, the Christmas in the Heartland tour. The guy is a tireless touring machine! And why not? The man sells tickets, he puts butts in the seats, he puts on a show that rivals the old-time entertainers, the kind of show that includes singing, dancing, and comedy. He interacts with the audience with a sense of comedic timing that's instinctive. And funny. Very, very funny. And that voice. That marvelous, marvelous voice. That voice has captivated millions, turned women into goo, made men sit up and take notice; that voice is a once-in-a-lifetime voice.

And the Clack. Of every single show, almost very single appearance, every single public event that Clay has done, there is Clack.

Clack, glorious Clack!
We're anxious to watch it.
Three hours a day, our favorite diet.
Videos, montages, and fabulous songs
What next is the question
Rich, wonderful Clackathons
All-night sessions!

Ahem, forgive me for I digress.....

Where were we? Ah, yes, celebrating the entertainment that is Clay Aiken.

Clay just finished appearing on 'Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader', taking part in a tribute to Neil Sedaka at Lincoln Center, singing Christmas songs to world-class skaters to be broadcast on Christmas Day, giving a lecture at Yale on the importance of teaching geography and he's preparing to go on his tenth tour in less than five years. In those 'less than five years' he also found time to become a UNICEF Ambassador and visit Indonesia, Uganda, and Afghanistan and to participate as an Advisor to the Bush Administration's President's Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities. Oh, and graduate from college.

Like I said earlier: You can't get better entertainment for the price of the internet!