Friday, May 19, 2006

Computer condoms

"It doesn't make sense. And if it doesn't make sense...."
Judge Judy


"Condoms are for safety and protection, right? Well....what, then, makes them so frustrating to install?

Oh, you thought I was talking about condom condoms? Oh, no, no, no, my dears, I was talking about anti-virus/spyware protection condoms. Get your mind out of the gutters, smutters. When I talk protection, I talk anti-virus/spyware protection.

So.

I had to update my anti-virus/spyware program today. Actually, I had to update it about three weeks ago, but I put it off. Seems like I do a lot of that lately. Anyway, tonight I purchased my updated version and installed it. First it told me that I had to un-install the 2005 version. Well, ok, but since that's your older version, how about just overwriting the fucking program intead of making me wait while you un-install it? Makes no sense.

So, $24.95 poorer, I installed the 2006 version of my anti-virus/spyware program. All well and good. Except at the end of the process where it tells me: You may not have the most up-to-date version of your anti-virus/spyware program. Click here to update.

OK. Why, may I ask, would you install an updated 2006 version and NOT GIVE ME THE MOST UP-TO-DATE ONE???

Makes no sense.

So....I go to the little icon in my start bar and click on it and up pops a window that says:

Your firewall wall is............ON
Your anit-spyware is..........ON
Your virus protection is......OFF

WTF??

OK, all I want to do is turn the virus protection on. Easy, right?

Except not.

There is no where to click to upload it. Nowhere. Nada. Zilch.

I started clicking my freaking mouse all over the freaking window. I have no clue why, I was pissed. Well, I must have clicked the right area because all of a sudden, there it was. I got to upload the most up-to-date version that I should have received for my $24.95.

*sigh*

I'm in the wrong business.


Just because:






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2 comments:

feelingthejoy said...

Computer protection...not fun. Clay Aiken...lotsa fun. But, you got to have the first in order to protect the clack from the second *g*.

beauzzartz said...

Man, I feel your frustration. I laughed because I would have started clicking all over the place too trying to get something to take. I have little patience when it comes to technology. This same method applies to cars, remote controls, small kitchen appliences and husbands.